Most of us carry invisible beliefs that quietly disempower us — ideas about our worth, our appearance, or our success. These beliefs form early, from a teacher’s criticism, a parent’s comment, or a partner’s indifference. Because we believe them, they shape our reality.
Over the years, career changes and personal transitions often reinforced my belief that I was not enough. I can still hear my father’s joking remark to my perfect school score: “Why not an 11 out of 10?” Even now, when I feel misunderstood or defensive, it usually traces back to that same belief.
But what might happen if I fully believed that I am enough — that I have nothing to prove to the world?
From Limiting Beliefs to Empowered Leadership
As leaders, our inner beliefs quietly shape how we motivate others. When we question our own worth, we may overwork, micromanage, or hesitate to trust our teams. When we replace those limiting patterns with empowering models of reality, we unlock genuine motivation — both for ourselves and for those we lead.
Motivated leaders build motivated teams.
When you grow, your people grow too.
Some of our models of reality are conscious; many are not. Each time you think, “I can’t do that,” ask yourself — what belief sits beneath it? Perhaps “It’s not safe to stand out” or “If I succeed, someone else will suffer.”
These “Brules” (bullsh*t rules, as Vishen Lakhiani calls them) silently define our limits. It’s time to question them.
Rewriting Your Reality
Growth begins when we replace disempowering beliefs with empowering ones. This shift doesn’t just change how we feel — it transforms how we lead. When you rewrite your inner story, you create the conditions for others to thrive.
One powerful tool is the “What I Love About Myself” exercise:
Each day, identify one quality or action that made you proud. Acknowledge it, even if no one else did. Pair this with a short gratitude practice — list three things you’re thankful for.
These daily acts of appreciation rebuild self-worth and model the culture of recognition that drives team motivation and engagement. When leaders value themselves, they naturally create teams that feel valued too — maximising the return on every people investment.
Healing the Inner Child Within
As therapist Marisa Peer suggests, each of us carries an inner child who didn’t receive all the love or recognition they needed. We can’t change the past, but we can take responsibility for healing ourselves — and offer the same compassion to those we lead.
Ask yourself:
- Is my belief absolute or relative? Does it hold true for everyone, or just for me?
- Is this really true? Am I completely certain — or could there be another way to see it?
When we let go of outdated models of reality, we free ourselves to lead with courage, empathy, and creativity.
The Power to Redefine Everything
Mike Dooley writes: “True brilliance is not understanding one’s world, but realising that one’s understanding creates the world — and that it can always be changed.”
As Compassionate Leaders, we are invited to motivate ourselves and others through kindness, curiosity, and accountability. By rewriting our inner realities, we inspire transformation in our teams and create organisations that are alive with purpose.
Motivate your team. Maximise your people investment. Start by rewriting your own story.
